Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Ten Commandments of riding/driving in Chennai

1. You shall have no other goal other than travelling from point a to point b. Well, riding for pleasure is ok. But your goal shall not be, I repeat, shall not be racing to win some unsuspecting person who doesn't even know that a race is on!
2. You shall start early so as to avoid cussing, rash-driving, killing others to make it on time.
3. You shall love a fellow traveller as yourself. Well, just imagine this. You cut across or be nasty to this person and you realise that this person is none other than your good friend or relative or boss…
4. You shall not envy another person's bike or car or lorry or bus… Whichever is applicable.
5. You shall not act like you are the king of the road just because you blew up a lot of money in buying your fancy-pansy bike/car.
6. Show mercy and you will be shown mercy. Well, actually you may not be shown any mercy even if you show mercy. But be merciful to the ones with lesser vehicles and pedestrians.
7. Patience is a virtue. Trust me, it won't kill you.
8. You shall not honk unnecessarily. Remember, honkers are not movers. It shows that you cannot drive. It is like you are announcing "EVERYBODY! OUTTA MY WAY! DON"T KNOW HOW TO STOP THIS THING!"
9. If you are a bike guy, don't fix a car horn. And the other kind of horn that needs to be avoided are those annoying many pitch ones… And those with those nerve-racking tunes… Or that irritating… Oh never mind…
10. If you can't go but you can let a smaller guy go, let him go. Don't be a dog in the manger.

And because I don't like to stop with 10…
11. Be nice. Smile when people let you pass or let you cross. Try and say or signal thank you when you can.

20 comments:

JollyRoger said...

Is this your personal list of resolutions or is this ur wishlist from the world?

But either ways it will make the world a better place.

Bungi said...

Oops! I had forgotten to add the title when i posted... Here you go...

With regard to resolutions or wishlist for the others, it is a bit of both...

The Mahathma said...

who gave u license to drive in chennai

Bungi said...

But then, who needs a license to drive in Chennai?! If you have a license, i have one too... It is all fair, bro!

The Mahathma said...

its an unfair world

Just Sayin' said...

Hurray 11... I can't do lists of 10 either!

Nancy said...

For those of us new to India, "Dont be a dog in the manger" what does that mean?

Clover said...

so have you ever cut across infront of your boss?

Sandy Carlson said...

Hey, I think the VW people have been aware of your wishes for a while now! I have a horn in my Jetta that requires serious work to honk. Gives me plenty of time to think about being rude! It's easier to fill the tank, play some nice music, and get there when I get there. (Which may be why I am neither rich nor famous.)

Nice post!

The Mahathma said...

manger and manager are different

Pravin said...

Or we could do it this way -

Um never mind. I can't find the link.

It was a funny article on Driving in India. It went something like this -

Bigger vehicles have the right of way. Pedestrians make way for two-wheelers which make way for cars which make way for buses. Everything makes way for a cow.

:P

choconet said...

I guess that tourists don't drive in Chennai...

ScRiBbLeR said...

If you plan to follow the traffic rules & stand till the signal counter drops to 0 & turns green, you better be deaf ! else the horns will pass though the helmet & burst the ear drum!!

the queen beetle said...

what if im guilty of breaking all your 11 rules? does that mean im not allowed to drive??!!

U WISH! MWahahahah

Jean said...

Brilliant, and true everywhere in the world.

Ryan said...

My most favorite rikshaw ride yet was the one where he used the vehicle in front of him to stop at each needed such event...

Oh to talk about all the different horns, the louder they are the worse they drive.

A tourist in town longer than 1 week is no longer a tourist, Anna has driven here a couple times already!! And she does not have a drivers licence!!!

Anju said...

Obviously, there are a lot of sinners out there! :p

Jude said...

@Nancy, "Dog in the Manger" has nothing to do with India. It refers to a story from Aesop's fables. Aesop was Greek. Actually he might have been an African slave in medieval Greece.

Bungi said...

Bill - Tell me about it... I have a good mind to add the 12th one too...

Nancy - Ermmm... Will show you when i take you on the bike next time.

Gitu - Ummm... Do you want me to get into trouble?

Sandy - Lol... No VW in India. Guess we should make 'em like that here...

Saj - Yes, i know. Now why would you say that?

Pravin - Oh yes. A friend of mine sent me an article too. Will probably forward it to you.

Choco - Tourists don't but the adventurous and/or the desperate do. :)

Gomathy - He he. Tell me about it. But going with the flow seems to be the game here.

Da Queen - Breaking all these rules not only qualifies you to drive on the roads of Chennai, it also makes you eligible for applying for license issuing job. :P

Jean - Don't tell me!! I thought there were places in the world where things were better than here. Or perhaps, you haven't seen it here... Hmmm... It is truly crazy here. Trust me on this one.

Ryan - Anna? *GASP*

Anju - Haven't we all sinned and fallen short of the glory... :P

Jude - Thanks. :)

Chelsa said...

Great work.