Monday, February 04, 2008

The unique and the ordinary

It somehow seems easier to accept the ordinary, everyday people. And harder to accept those who set themselves apart. Apart in the way of dressing, in their attitude, in whatever else… Everything about them screams "I am unique and different. Notice me. Accept me."

Whereas the ordinary do not strive to establish that they are unique and different. Their flaws and quirks make them unique. That sets them apart from the rest. That makes them acceptable.

When you make yourself flawless it makes it difficult for me to accept you. For I am flawed. A flawed person accepts me as I am. A flawless one expects me to be flawless.

You see, the unique and the ordinary are not mutually exclusive...


Sandy Carlson said...

Bungi, you have two thoughts going here that speak to me.

1. The different people. I wonder why some folks need to be out there. That's different from people who genuinely have unique taste. I mean the self-consciously constructed outsider. They seem like sad folks to me who are desperate for attention.

2. The perfect people. The ones I have met who have these perfect facades tend to have the messiest of lives behind the scenes. Perfectionism is a crippling disease--it cripples everyone who comes into contact with the perfectionist.

I agree with what you noted on my blog: it's easy to work with and accept insights from someone working alongside you than from someone who sets himself up as judge and jury.

Julie Layne said...

I think my ten-year-old figured this out, too. The other day she said to me, "Mom, everyone is a little weird, so if you're perfect, you're not normal."

So I guess we should all relax a little, huh? :-)

And yeah, it is often difficult to love the folks who are so drastically different--even when it is not their own doing. That is the hardest thing, because those are the people we know we really should go out of our way to try to love. Either it's not their fault, and we are cruel not to try, or they are desperately seeking love.

Bungi said...

Sandy - It is also interesting that both these kinds of people show this kind of behaviour because of insecurity... Someone comfortable with who they are don't strive to be different or to be perfect...

Julie - Kristen is very wise!
Also, i have wondered about why it is difficult to love the ones that are different from us... Perhaps, i will make that a different blog post altogether... :-)