Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Memories revisited

I haven’t heard some sounds in a long time. I love the fierce sounds of nature – that of thunder and wind especially. I remember when I studied in a boarding school up in the hills I used to hear these sounds often. The sound of rolling thunder. It was a sound that was frightening to many, but to me it was the sound of Majesty.

And then there is the sound of the wind. The tall eucalyptus and the other kinds of trees sliced through the wind that blew through the woods. The sound mere whistle some times; and it would be howling and wailing at other times.

Living in a city has its benefits. And you quite forget that these sounds exist. You read about them at times. You remember them wistfully. But those are passing moments. Thankfully the gentle breeze still blows in the cities. I love the feel of gentle breeze upon my face. They say it is a reminder that God is still at work…

These few days are refreshing. I am vacationing at my cousin’s. I can wake up in the morning, walk out of the house and look at a field, lots of sky, and the hills…

And you can hear the gusty wind bellowing through the trees… You can hear the wind howl…

(This was written on 28th July when i was vacationing and i wasn't connected.)

Monday, July 14, 2008


The last few weeks have been weeks of connecting and reconnecting with people. I, personally, did reconnect with a number of people. And I saw some people reconnect as well. And in some instances, I put off reconnecting and lost the chance to connect forever.

The reasons why connections had broken varied:

The most mundane, and the usual reason. Busyness.

People have gone their own way which tended to be in different direction.

Geographical distance.


Assumptions. Assumptions arising out of past events… Events which were not discussed and sorted out.

Misunderstanding and past hurts.

Drifting apart - unconsciously. Gradually. Without notice.

Similarly, various things that caused reconnection:

Determination and conscious effort - by either one or both parties to connect again. Deliberately making time for one another. Even if it means taking some sort of extra effort to make it fit in both of your schedules.

Picking up that phone and making the call. Now.

Travelling - this kind of overcomes the geographical distance.

Willing to take the risk. Willing to put aside our assumptions and to become vulnerable. Taking that one chance that our assumptions may be wrong.

Forgiving and putting aside differences. Being willing to talk it out.

Looking in your calendar and marking out time for meeting with old friends. And then calling the friends and asking them to block the date in their calendars as well.

Persistence - some people need that. But don't be persistent to the point of being annoying.

And in some cases, losing your mobile phone can also cause you to reconnect. :)

And the reconnections had these effects on me:

"Gosh! I had actually missed this person and didn't realise it for this long."

"It is wonderful to pick up from where we left. It is great that I can be as honest and vulnerable with this person as I was then."

"Wow! We've both grown and matured. And we still click."

"I still love this person…"

"It's so wonderful to laugh like we used to…"

And while saying all this, I must also mention that one of the members of my extended family died. We were planning to visit them just two days before she died, but we put it off for another day that would never come…

So people, pick up that phone and make that call. Spend a couple of minutes and email. Look in your calendar and see who you want to meet up with for coffee today. Get to know the person you've been wanting to get to know…

p.s. - Do feel free to share your reconnection stories. Treat this as a tag if you will.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The mask and the wall...

There are some who wear a mask... Or many different masks. And then there are some who put up a wall.

If the different 'facades' we show to different people (or in different situations) are masks, then we are left with only different kinds of masks. There is no real face.

I prefer the wall. It signifies that people do get a glimpse of the real you but in measured bits. When discussing this with a friend, he came up with the concept of walls with holes. That is what it is. We choose different sizes and patterns for the holes depending on the people we are with or the situation we are in.

Masks hide. Walls (with holes) reveal. Whether we want to hide or reveal determines whether we wear a mask or put up a wall.

Note: This post has its roots in one of the weekend conversations with these people.

p.s. - It is interesting that one of the above mentioned people had written about this almost two years ago and i had posted a long comment in response...

Thursday, July 03, 2008

Making sense of it...

All good stories have a plot. In a novel, in a movie, nothing happens without reason. In the end everything comes together. It all makes sense - eventually.

There is this desire in us that things should make sense. At least in the end. We do not like movies that don't tie it up well and books that leave us with more questions than answers.

This desire is reflected in the way we view life. We expect life to have a plot. We either try to make sense of what the plot is. Or we seek to fill in the gaps so that it makes sense. Or believe that it will all make sense in the end - like in the movies and books…

But will it?

Are we there yet?

When do we actually arrive?

From when we are born we are in a constant state of preparation. They prepare us so that we can get in to school. And then, they prepare us to go to college. This is just so that we will be prepared for the future.

When do we actually arrive at the 'future?' Where is this 'future?'

Once we finish college we think we will arrive there. Perhaps we do. We are suddenly faced with a whole new life of 'adulthood' before us. And we find ourselves fumbling, floundering and flustering. Has all our young days been spent preparing for this? We continue to do what we have best learned to do - to prepare for the future.

So when do we arrive? I believe that we arrive only when we learn that life is happening in the here-and-now. While we live with one eye on the future, we need to appreciate and relish the present. We need to be aware of the sands of time that we hold in our hands… and feel its grains even as it slips through our fingers… When we have learned that, we have arrived.