There are some who wear a mask... Or many different masks. And then there are some who put up a wall.
If the different 'facades' we show to different people (or in different situations) are masks, then we are left with only different kinds of masks. There is no real face.
I prefer the wall. It signifies that people do get a glimpse of the real you but in measured bits. When discussing this with a friend, he came up with the concept of walls with holes. That is what it is. We choose different sizes and patterns for the holes depending on the people we are with or the situation we are in.
Masks hide. Walls (with holes) reveal. Whether we want to hide or reveal determines whether we wear a mask or put up a wall.
Note: This post has its roots in one of the weekend conversations with these people.
p.s. - It is interesting that one of the above mentioned people had written about this almost two years ago and i had posted a long comment in response...
8 comments:
And which one of 'these people' read my blog to get that idea?
Ryan, i hate to say this, but i don't think these people even visit your blog... And haven't you heard that there is nothing new under the sun? :-P Lolz. And, out of curiosity, which post in your blog talks about this?
I like what you say about walls. They can be scaled, and sometimes the door's unlocked!
What about privacy? People need to have boundaries. They need to nurse their hurts sometimes and there is no place to hide. So the only thing to do is put on a mask. Some people don't understand so you give them the mask they want. The grandmother wants to see the smiling face. The boss wants to see the determined worker. Some husbands want to see the passive face.
We also put on masks for ourselves so we don't even see what we are really thinking because we can't handle it yet. We are onions--many layers of walls. There is always a door to every wall. If people feel safe, they give you the key. When we show people respect and give them dignity and space, we may not see so many walls and may be given the key. But when people don't know how to identify with others but live in their own world and are selfish and self-absorbed, vunerable, ssesitive people will always be able to quickly pull the shades down. Gentleness and discretion can get you many keys in people's lives if you are patient.
Sandy - Ah yes. Scaling of the walls. Didn't think of it before.
Anon - Ummm... Kind of curious about who you are. Anyways, here's my reply to your comment. Yes. People need to have boundaries. People need to have space. People need to put up walls.
I was only trying to bring in a distinction between putting up walls and wearing masks.
Putting up walls - you hide yourself behind a wall. You are still you. You choose to let people have glimpses of you are depending on how safe you feel with them.
Wearing a mask - You pretend to be something that you are not in order to hide who you are. Wearing masks all the time can be detrimental as it stems from feeling insecure about oneself. If we keep wearing masks - different ones with different people - we may end up forgetting who we are...
Don't know if i make sense... Anyways, this is what i meant.
Ryan - Thanks for the discussion this morning where we refined the idea...
http://consideringthecost.blogspot.com/2008/06/picture.html
Doors, Windows, Masks, USB drives, forests, water drops, rivers, oceans, walls, keys, TIME and change. Is the me of now the me of yesterday or tomorrow? Can anyone really give one consistant picture to everyone all the time? Or is it like the picture I use to the left... you can see my eye but what about my hand or foot?
Ryan - Alas... There are more questions than one can find answers for... Ah well, life goes on...
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