Stories

I have been wondering at the power stories hold.

Stories are a part of everybody's lives. I, too, have had my fair share of stories - both consuming them and creating them. From the stories my mother would read in the newspaper supplements and tell me going to bed, to the fictions i have guzzled, to the movies i've watched, to the funny anecdotes that are repeated ever so often, and the stuff i've read and written in blogs. There is nothing new about stories.

Yet, they are so fascinating. Recently, i have been wondering at the power stories hold. Stories bring home reality like nothing else does, even if it is just imagined fiction. I amazed at the way a human being can connect to the life and experiences of another person, in another situation, in another world altogether.

I am sure there are a number of rational explanations as to why it happens, but that still does not diminish the wonder of it all.

The movie Australia, although not one of the best ones, really struck a chord in me. This brought to life the experiences of the Stolen Generation. Stolen Generation was something that was close to my heart, because of the stories my good friend from the down under shared with me when explaining to me what brought her to India.

There are stories that have made me feel helpless. Slumdog Millionaire, Hard-boiled Wonderland, Disgrace. While the injustice is made apparent in the imagined world, it brings home the reality in my world. Like the protagonists in these stories, there is nothing you can do.

And then, there are stories that have warmed my heart. The struggle between good and evil and the eventual triumph of good. I especially love stories where the struggle between good and evil takes place in one person's heart and not necessarily between the good party and the bad party. In essence, the good and the bad dwell in the same person. That person's victory over the evil in their heart is something that gives me hope.

There are imperfect stories, with the not so perfect ending. Nonetheless, reflecting the imperfection of the world and its people. This in itself is a revelation of the desire for perfection.

Well, there are all sorts of stories out there. And i hope to relish them, and let them do their thing in my heart. For often, data justifies my motivation, but it is stories that provide the motivation.

There's room for more...

Inclusion and exclusion are concepts that I have been toying with in my head for quite some time. I have been wanting to write about it, but the thoughts were pretty hazy and not complete. I cannot claim that I have resolved it entirely. Anyways, here goes…

In the 'The Inner Ring,' C. S. Lewis talks about one seeking to be in the inner ring. Many seek to be part of the inner ring. Many create the inner ring. The inner ring is created by exclusion. In Nineteen Minutes, this kid who is part of the 'cool clan' says something to the effect of "There can't be 'us' without 'them.'" It is almost as if the inner ring is created so that 'I' can feel special. Then, the sole motivation and the reason for survival of the inner rings, it seems, is because it acts as a crutch on which our flailing, floundering, insecure ego can support itself.

When I try to understand how Jesus lived, I found Him to be a very inclusive person. There was always room for the outcast, the sinner, the goof ball, the scum at His table. I believe that this inclusion stems from His security. He was secure in His identity. He knew who He was. He didn't feel the need to protect Himself and His ego. He didn't need to have a platinum credit card, be a member of 'exclusive' clubs, wear expensive designer clothes and accessories to make Himself feel significant*. He knew who He was and He was okay with that. And this, I guess, made people comfortable too. They didn't have to have certain 'qualities' so that they can be included in His exclusive club**.

Well, let me see what the point of this post was. Well, I was just wondering how inclusive I was willing to be… And I guess the only way I can become inclusive is if I am secure in who I am.

Social inclusion is a concept that I have come across during the course of my work. I guess for social inclusion to happen, that social institution/organization needs to be secure in what it is.

* This is not to say that it is wrong to have these things. I am only questioning the motive behind having and seeking after these things.

** This is to accept that, yes, it has been made out to be exclusive clubs these days. But I believe that Jesus did not intend it to be that way.

The book meme: Pt 2

I was tagged for a second and third time for the book meme. And since there are so many books to choose from, i am playing it for the second time.

Again, there are so many books to choose from and I am wondering which one it should be…

Alright. It is going to be my last weekend read - Agatha Christie's Five Little Pigs.

And the sentences,

"No."

The word came sharply - with almost an anguished rapidity Meredith Blake said, his face flushing:

"I abandoned the whole thing - dismantled it. I couldn't go on with it - how could I?"

And i am not tagging anybody particular this time around. Play along if you choose to.

Art

When I struggle with writing, the easiest way out I have found is to share something of what I am currently reading. There is this portion found in Doctor Zhivago (by Boris Pasternak) that really, really appealed to me. The author put in words what I knew in my heart. Oftentimes the material conceals the non-material and the material overshadows it. But it is the non-material which makes the material valuable. In this passage, what Pasternak calls 'art' is what I call the 'non-mateiral.'

"I have always thought that art is not a category, not a realm covering innumerable concepts and derivative phenomena, but that, on the contrary, it is something concentrated, strictly limited. It is a principle that is present in every work of art, a force applied to it and a truth worked out in it…

"A literary creation can appeal to us in all sorts of ways - by its theme, subject, situations, characters. But above all it appeals to us by the presence in it of art…

"…You can call it an idea, a statement about life, so all-embracing that it can't be split up into separate words; and if there is so much as a particle of it in any work that includes other things as well, it outweigh all the other ingredients in significance and turns out to be the essence, the heart and soul of the work." (Emphasis mine.)

While you all figure out this post, I will figure out my next post. :-)

Surrendered Dreams

Dream your dream. After you are done dreaming, inhale a lungful of reality. It hits you hard, doesn't it?

The very nature of dreams is, it is above and beyond that which is. It is inspirational. It edges on the impossible. If it does not then it is merely planning for the future. It is not a dream really.

That is the sad thing about dreams too. It is something that is inviting. Something that you desire, something that would allow you to be you. Something that is just beyond the grasp. Something that could be… if not for reality.

Indumathi's Surrendered Dreams (தரையில் இறங்கும் விமானங்கள்) tells the story of dreams and reality. While the aspirations are high and visions propel a person, duty and obligation has the capacity to cause the dreams to come tumbling down.

Person after person sacrifice their dreams for the sake of the other in the family. This cycle of sacrifice doesn't seem to stop. Those who haven't yet sacrificed do not understand those who have and in fact, are disappointed that one so great has also succumbed to the ordinary. When the idealist becomes a realist, it seems to the world that he has stooped too low.

But is that so?

Those who sacrificed have entered a different league altogether. Although they feel the pain of surrendered dreams, they have become nobler people simply because they have put the others before themselves and even before their own dreams. They have become nobler also because they are now aware of their nobility…

The book meme

I was tagged by Sandy at Writing in Faith: Thoughts for the book meme.

Here are the rules:
*Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
*Find Page 123.
*Find the first 5 sentences.
*Post the next 3 sentences.
*Tag 5 people.

The book: Practicing the Presence of God by Brother Lawrence

The sentences:
He told me several times that all he had heard others say and all that he found in books - indeed, all that he himself had written, seemed pointless in comparison with what faith revealed to him about the greatness of God and of Jesus Christ.
"He alone," he used to say, "is capable of making Himself known to us as He is. We search in reasoning and in the sciences, as in a poor copy, what we neglect to see in an excellent Original."

I tag all those who want to play this.

A post

I sit at my computer, not quite sure what I want to write about. There are a lot of thoughts that have gone through my head, but none have stayed and transformed itself into a blog post. Nonetheless, let me try.

Even memes aren't around to rescue me now. So what do I write about? Seems like I have written about everything that I am concerned about. And all or most of my thinking energy has been diverted to work thinking. Oh, work is going great by the way. New ideas, new plans, more exciting stuff. I am waiting to see them transform into something that will bear fruit.

Actually, I have taken a break from thinking. You know, one of those seasons where you just take a break because thinking a lot ends up in confusion and sometimes even in pain? Yeah. So I am taking a break from thinking anything too serious. I am keeping my reading to just fiction and lighter reading than the stuff that makes my brain whirr at 10000 rpm. It is almost like I didn't let very many thoughts stay in my head long enough that it took root and became an idea (which would have then been transformed into a blog post). And thus, I have been diverting my thinking energy and causing it to stay mostly on work related ideas.

Hopefully, I will get to thinking other things sometime. I am trying to read The World is Flat. I wouldn't say that it is the best read that I have had in my life. I find it a little too dry and little too one-sided. I am pushing myself to read that though. I have decided to reward myself with The Argumentative Indian if I finish reading the World is Flat.

Besides that I am reading a Tamil fiction (Yavana Rani by Sandilyan). The story is split in two volumes. I will hopefully finish it by the end of this week or so. I may be quoting something from that book too. It is interesting, the gems of thoughts that you find these books.

Wisdom and the lack of it...

If there is one thing that really stood out for me when I read the book ஆகாச வீடுகள் (A Home in the Sky) it was the insight into wisdom or the lack of it…

When someone does something hurtful or selfish or any of that, lack of wisdom is the reason. This person could be you or I. I have been trying to put this into practice in my life, especially on the roads. When someone one cuts across, they are lacking in wisdom. When I say to myself, "Hmph, that person is unwise," I leave the path of wisdom.

I was thinking about wisdom and trying to make it more understandable to me. I have read and know that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the fruit of wisdom, I suppose, is revealed in the way I treat another. Which is why when I cut across or when I cause hurt or when I am selfish or when I ridicule another I am acting out my lack of wisdom. And when I love and bless another in my thoughts and actions, it flows out of wisdom.

A home in the sky - Excerpts from the book.

ஆகாச வீடுகள் (A Home in the Sky is the Title of the English translation) by Vaasanthi was one of the books I was reading in the past week. It is a story that is set in a village amidst a community of people. It is almost like a microcosm. The author has explored the problems, human action and counter action that crop up in this microcosm, albeit from a feminist point of view.

At the two ends of the spectrum are Lalitha and Meenu who approach the same problems differently. Lalitha, Meenu's aunt, is a very patient, loving, forgiving person who smiles even at those who hurt her. Even when she weeps she weeps not for herself but for the other person.

Meenu is the reactive person among the two. She believes that something must be done when injustice happens. At 17 years of age she has a highly developed sense of justice and injustice. And she is not one to quietly watch when injustice occurs. She stands up and speaks against it.

Another fact that came to me through the story is, despite the failings and ill-feelings and gossip among the people in the community, when tragedy occurs they come together as one large family and support one another. Selfishness may seem very rampant. But in times of crisis, they think beyond self and look at the other. It is almost like these times of tragedy are moments when their heart soars in to a higher realm of existence.

This being said, I will explore or simply quote snippets from the book. And I will do my best to translate those for non-Tamil reading folks.

இந்த மனசு ஏன் உயரப் பறக்கமாட்டேன் என்கிறது?

ஓ, பெரிய சுவரல்லவா குறுக்கே நிற்கிறது?

நான்.

இதுதான் கண்ணை மறைக்கிறது, வெட்கத்தையும் மானத்தையும் மறைக்கும் சுவர். அன்பை மறைக்கும் சுவர்.

Why isn't the heart able to fly high?

O, isn't there this big wall that is blocking it?

I.

This is what is blinding the eyes. This is the wall that screens self-respect and dignity. The wall that blocks love.

"இத்தனை சின்ன வயசுக்கு நீ ரொம்ப யோசனை பண்றே, மீனு! ரொம்ப யோசனை பண்ற மனசு ரொம்ப துக்கமும் அனுபவிக்கும்."

"You think a lot for your age, Meenu! A mind that thinks a lot will experience a lot of pain."

I could relate to that!

"எங்கப்பா அடிக்கடி சொல்வார் மீனு, இந்த உலகத்திலே எதைக் கண்டும் நாம வருத்தப்பட வேண்டியதில்லே, மனுஷனுடைய அஞ்ஞானத்தைக் கண்டுதான் வருத்தப்படணும்பார்!"

"My dad used to say often, Meenu. We shouldn't be sad looking at anything in this world. Only man's lack of wisdom should sadden us."

There were many other things that appealed to me in the book. However, I don't want to get in to all the snippets in this post. Besides, it will take me a long time to search for those in the book.

Click here to read the blurb of the English Translation and possibly purchase it.

Bono on Bono #4

"Michka Assayas: Don't you believe in united Ireland?

"Bono: Only by consensus. The border was drawn by threat of war, but we have to accept that it won't be removed by force. Real division, as the great John Hume says, it is in the people's hearts and minds."

Need I say more?

Let me just repeat. The real division is in people's hearts and minds - yours and mine.

Musings on Bono on Bono - Part 3

"How did this person who set fire to my imagination end up with no new ideas, and actually, even incapable of their old ones? Here's my theory: When people are absorbed in the culture, and they're going out, they're listening to music, they're in the clubs, music is part of their every waking moment, and as a result part of their sleeping times, in their dreams. The life is empty of other lovers. Unless you are in love with the music, or you stop struggling with it in your unconscious when you're asleep, you've other dreams. You're dreaming about moving houses, about whatever other ventures you're involved in. but that's where you did all your great work: You did when you were… …unconscious." - Bono (Quoted from the book 'Bono on Bono - Conversations with Michka Assayas)

I think there is something here. Not just a musician's love for music. But a worker's passion for their work. When other passions start crowding in and clamouring for attention, the worker gets distracted from her primary passion.

While other interests crowding in demanding one's attention is one reason for passion being snuffed out, I believe there are other reasons too.

There are times when a new passion replaces the old passion. It could simply mean that it is time for a change. It could be time for growing up. For maturing. For exploring.

There are also times when one's passion has consumed and possessed and drove a person for too long, one just wants to be rid of it. At least for sometime… And who can say whether the passion will take possession of the person again… Only time…

p.s. - Sometimes one is plain bored out of their wits...

Battlefield

"Evil encroaches in tiny footsteps on every great idea. And evil can outrun most great ideas, but finally, in the end, there is light in the world."

"The jungle is never far from the surface of our skin. No, I'm never surprised by evil, but I'm much more excited about what people are capable of."

"Well, as you get older, your idea of good guys and bad guys changes. As we moved from the eighties to the nineties, I stopped throwing rocks at the obvious symbols of power and the abuse of it. I started throwing rocks at my own hypocrisy."

Taken from 'Bono on Bono'

The picture that we often have of the poor is 'victims'. They are victims, no doubt. They are victims of the injustice in the society, the systems that have been worked out to keep them in their place, and of the rich and powerful using these systems to oppress them.

The nagging question in my head was what if the tables were turned? If the poor were made rich and powerful? My guess is that the same struggle will continue - between the powerful and the oppressed. Only the players will be different. What I am trying to say here is that the rich aren't all evil and the poor aren't all good. This is not a comic book where the evil persons are at war with the good persons.

When this one person with the good and the evil residing in him/her has the power, they have the choice to wield the power however they choose. And it seems like there is more evil than good. The choices are more selfish. In his post on morality, JollyRoger has explored 'collateral damage'. Oftentimes, those doing the damage don't look back to see the trail of disaster they leave behind - simply because of their selfish ways.

We work to put systems in place for either of the two purposes - to keep the evil from invading and imprisoning the 'victims' or to retain the power. Again, there are two sides to this. When the systems are established with great ideals of goodness and justice, they can still be infiltrated by evil. The converse is also true. When systems are put in place to retain power and to continue the oppression, the goodness of human nature does shine through.

In the end, the hero and the villain is the same person and the real battlefield is the heart.

Note: Some of what I read in Bono on Bono prodded me along this line of thought. It gave more form and structure to proceed with this thought-wrestling process. A chat with Jude and today's message at church helped me give structure and form to it. Thanks to Roger too. I was surprised to see that he had wrestled with similar thoughts and his thoughts on this subject further provided fodder for my post.

Lessons from Bono - Part 1

One of the books I am currently reading is Bono on Bono. I like Bono. I like his music because it is honest and he doesn't mince words. And I also like him cause I he, like me, believes that poverty can be made history and is working towards that. And he challenges convention.

There are some thoughts from the book which really hit home. Well, there are many of those really. I emailed Gina these thoughts and she thought these were blog material and that they should be shared with the wider audience. So, I will be putting up a select few of these thoughts in my blog along with my thoughts about his thoughts. Hopefully, this will be a series of posts.

“There are stories to tell that are not songs.”

This is one of the reasons he gave for working on this book project with the author. I just thought it was a cool quote.

“If you wake up in the morning with a melody in your head, as I do, it’s all about how much you compromise that melody to take it out of your head and put it into music.”

I feel this way about writing. I have sometimes compromised my ideas simply because I could not find the right words to express them. And when I wrote them, I would either end up something very different from what I started out with or I would not have expressed the idea in its entirety. I am glad I found his words to help me capture this compromise.

“It’s a very hierarchical business. What table you get in the restaurant tells how your career is doing. It’s happened to me many times, where you turn up at a restaurant or a club and they haven’t got the booking right and you have to queue or get turned away…

…But I don’t want to stray too far from the street. I’m not saying I’m not good at the penthouse life – but I’m also good at the pavement. That’s a source of pride for me, that I’m good at both. I’m good at high life, I’m good at the low life. It’s the middle where I lose it.”

I wish I could say that of myself… The bit about being good at both lives...

“…If you look to writers and painters and poets, then you’ll often find the search for the ecstatic, the trauma of religious experience.”

“All the Renaissance painters, torn between God, patronage, and the desires of the flesh.”

"Coolness might help in your negotiation with people through the world, maybe, but it is impossible to meet God with sunglasses on. It is impossible to meet God without abandon, without exposing yourself, being raw. That’s the connection with great music and great art, and that is why it’s uncomfortable, that is why cool is the enemy of it, because that’s the other reason you wanted to join a bad: you wanted to do the cool thing. Trying to capture religious experiences on tape wasn’t what you had in mind when you signed up for the job.”

I guess this is not something that only musicians and artists alone face. It is true of me and my work as well. Why do I want to do development work? Is it to please man, to earn a living or to do the Kingdom work? Like the artist I struggle with the three loyalties. The desire to be noticed, the desire to climb the rungs of career ladder, and the desire to serve – all three compete for attention.