Sands of time

Sands of time slipping through my fingers

Flowing like streams of water

Not to worry

They flow back

In to the endless ocean of sand

Without hurry

I will grab another handful

And savour the feel

Of sand slipping through my fingers

Me

I don't have it in me
To be what you want me
to be
To be what i ought
to be

Who is me?
A somebody that already is?
Or a somebody that is still becoming?

How far do i stretch out
before i stop being me?
How far do i stretch out
to become me?

I sigh

Drowning in a sea of thoughts
Waves crashing
One against another
And new ones forming
Rushing towards my conscious mind

I struggle to resurface
To thrust my head
Through the crashing thoughts
I gasp for breath
I sigh

My friends tease me about the number of times i sigh. I quite didn't know how to explain why i sighed so much. And i didn't intend to write this thing as an explanation. I sat sighing this morning and this is what came out of it. :-)

Tangle

It is all a pointless tangle

Knotted in

Knotted out

The seeker and his journey

The lover and his longing

The rich and his wealth

The poor and his anguish

The meaning and the search for it

Untangling it

Sometimes slowly

Sometimes hurriedly

Sometimes giving up

Pointless Pointless

For the tangle remains

Unspoken

Unspoken desires

Unshed tears

Unheard words

Unfathomable depth

Infinite God

Passion

What love is this

That it walked the path of suffering

Pain and humiliation

What love is this

That stayed on the Cross

And refused to come down

What love is this

That has adopted me

Unworthy as I am

What love is this

That grants me space to rest

In Your presence

What love is this

That did not stop at the Cross

But keeps on loving me

Every moment...

That thinks of me

Without cease...

The wheel

A feeling of being stuck

Caught in the rut

No escape

The wheel churning

Up

and down

and up

and down

Incessantly

Without pause

I want to break free

To where?

Another wheel?

Still learning...

Learning to be patient with the 'now'
Learning to be patient with me

Not running ahead
Not lagging behind
But staying still

Not restless
Not impatient
But quietly waiting

Not moving
Not struggling
But gently trusting

Not looking around
Not searching inside
But beholding Him
Who was and is and is to come...

That heaven of freedom

Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high;
Where knowledge is free;
Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls;
Where words come out from the depth of truth;
Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection;
Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit;
Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action -
Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake.

- Rabindranath Tagore

This has been one of favorite poems ever since I was a kid.
And this is my prayer as we celebrate 60 years of independence...

Questions

Why do i miss you as much as i do?

Why does my heart feel anxious?

Why does the wait have to be so long?

Why do three weeks seem longer than three years?

Why are you so close yet so far away?

And why are you so far away yet so close?

What is this strange restlessness in my heart?

This hollow feeling in the subconscious mind?

Do you know what i am talking about?

Among all the questions asked,

i am confident of the answer to only one...

இளைப்பாறுதல் (Rest)

நான் தேடிய இளைப்பாறுதல்

மகிழ்ச்சியான நாட்களில் அடையவில்லை

மலைகளின் மத்தியிலும் கிட்டவில்லை

பூவின் சிரிப்பில் காணவில்லை

பட்சியின் பாடலில் கேட்கவில்லை

அமைதியான குளக்கரையில் அமைதி இல்லை

அலைமோதும் நீலக் கடற்கரையிலும் இல்லை

காற்றிலும் இல்லை

மண் வாசனையிலும் இல்லை

என் அன்பரின் சந்நிதானத்தில் தஞ்சம் புகுந்தேன்

நான் தேடியதை அங்கே கண்டேன்

For the benefit of my non-Tamil blogging friends, I have the translation below.

The rest I sought

I did not find it in happy days

Nor in the mountains

Not in the laughter of flowers

Nor in the song of birds

Not by the quite pond

Nor by the wavy seashore

Neither in wind

Nor in the smell of rain

I sought refuge in my Beloved's sanctuary

There I found what I was seeking after

I thought I will start writing in Tamil as well. I guess Choconet's multilingual blog has been my inspiration. Those of you that do know Tamil, please let me know if i have made any spelling errors. Thank you.