More than that...

To repay evil for evil is ethics. To repay good for evil is grace.

The world has gone beyond the point where morals and ethics work. The need of the hour is grace.

Jealous

Jealousy, like a drop of heavy poison

Grips my heart and drags it down

Through the mud

I try to grab my heart

And squeeze the last drop

Out of it

While i rest

Thinking that I’m rid of the poison

I feel my heart become heavy again

The darkness stains my mind

The claws clutch my conscience

Drop by drop

Little by little

Claw by claw

I will be rid of it

By the power of Him

who can rid me of it

Humility

Humility does not come from debasing oneself. Humility should proceed from being fully aware of who we are, what our weaknesses and strengths are. And it comes from the willingness to place ourselves lower than others despite how big or how good we are.

Stolen moments

If i could write about one thing today, what would it be about?

Perhaps, it will be about stolen moments.

No, i am not talking about the moments stolen from us. Rather, these are the moments that we steal from life, like gulping down a lungful of fresh air before ducking back into water.

The moment of silence in the restroom away from the crowd
The quick moment of looking up and acknowledging God in the midst of a hectic day
The moment you allow yourself to be drawn into the beauty around you
The moment between turning off the light and your head hitting the pillow
The moment of repentance
The moment of release
The moment of glimpsing the big picture
The moment when hope's restored
The moment when peace is made
The moment when you feel God smile at you

The stolen moments from the pool of time...

The hypocrisy of anti-conversion laws

Various states in India have enacted 'Freedom' of Religion Acts and Anti-Conversion Act providing or prohibition of conversion from one religious faith to any other by use of force or inducement or by fraudulent means and for matters connected therewith.

The definitions used in one such Act goes like this:

(b) "force" shall include a show of force or a threat of injury of any kind including threat of divine displeasure or social excommunication;

(c) “force” shall include misrepresentation or any other fraudulent contrivance.

(d) “inducement” shall include the offer of any gift or gratification, either in cash or in kind and shall also include the grant of any benefit, either pecuniary or otherwise; may make rules for the purpose of carrying out the provisions of this Act.

Now what I don't get is, why are people being forced to 'reconvert' at the point of swords and sickles and weapons? What do the laws and people behind the making of these laws have to say about this?

Memories revisited

I haven’t heard some sounds in a long time. I love the fierce sounds of nature – that of thunder and wind especially. I remember when I studied in a boarding school up in the hills I used to hear these sounds often. The sound of rolling thunder. It was a sound that was frightening to many, but to me it was the sound of Majesty.

And then there is the sound of the wind. The tall eucalyptus and the other kinds of trees sliced through the wind that blew through the woods. The sound mere whistle some times; and it would be howling and wailing at other times.

Living in a city has its benefits. And you quite forget that these sounds exist. You read about them at times. You remember them wistfully. But those are passing moments. Thankfully the gentle breeze still blows in the cities. I love the feel of gentle breeze upon my face. They say it is a reminder that God is still at work…

These few days are refreshing. I am vacationing at my cousin’s. I can wake up in the morning, walk out of the house and look at a field, lots of sky, and the hills…

And you can hear the gusty wind bellowing through the trees… You can hear the wind howl…

(This was written on 28th July when i was vacationing and i wasn't connected.)

There's room for more...

Inclusion and exclusion are concepts that I have been toying with in my head for quite some time. I have been wanting to write about it, but the thoughts were pretty hazy and not complete. I cannot claim that I have resolved it entirely. Anyways, here goes…

In the 'The Inner Ring,' C. S. Lewis talks about one seeking to be in the inner ring. Many seek to be part of the inner ring. Many create the inner ring. The inner ring is created by exclusion. In Nineteen Minutes, this kid who is part of the 'cool clan' says something to the effect of "There can't be 'us' without 'them.'" It is almost as if the inner ring is created so that 'I' can feel special. Then, the sole motivation and the reason for survival of the inner rings, it seems, is because it acts as a crutch on which our flailing, floundering, insecure ego can support itself.

When I try to understand how Jesus lived, I found Him to be a very inclusive person. There was always room for the outcast, the sinner, the goof ball, the scum at His table. I believe that this inclusion stems from His security. He was secure in His identity. He knew who He was. He didn't feel the need to protect Himself and His ego. He didn't need to have a platinum credit card, be a member of 'exclusive' clubs, wear expensive designer clothes and accessories to make Himself feel significant*. He knew who He was and He was okay with that. And this, I guess, made people comfortable too. They didn't have to have certain 'qualities' so that they can be included in His exclusive club**.

Well, let me see what the point of this post was. Well, I was just wondering how inclusive I was willing to be… And I guess the only way I can become inclusive is if I am secure in who I am.

Social inclusion is a concept that I have come across during the course of my work. I guess for social inclusion to happen, that social institution/organization needs to be secure in what it is.

* This is not to say that it is wrong to have these things. I am only questioning the motive behind having and seeking after these things.

** This is to accept that, yes, it has been made out to be exclusive clubs these days. But I believe that Jesus did not intend it to be that way.

Unspoken

Unspoken desires

Unshed tears

Unheard words

Unfathomable depth

Infinite God

Passion

What love is this

That it walked the path of suffering

Pain and humiliation

What love is this

That stayed on the Cross

And refused to come down

What love is this

That has adopted me

Unworthy as I am

What love is this

That grants me space to rest

In Your presence

What love is this

That did not stop at the Cross

But keeps on loving me

Every moment...

That thinks of me

Without cease...

Still learning...

Learning to be patient with the 'now'
Learning to be patient with me

Not running ahead
Not lagging behind
But staying still

Not restless
Not impatient
But quietly waiting

Not moving
Not struggling
But gently trusting

Not looking around
Not searching inside
But beholding Him
Who was and is and is to come...

The dignity of giving

Giving is deglorified when the motive behind the giving is to glorify the self. Oftentimes, giving is goaded by selfishness. I give because it makes me feel good. I give because I want to stop feeling guilty. I give because I am generous - or so I think.

One does not become a true giver all at once. It is a process that is worked out in us provided we accept the challenge, be willing to stretch ourselves a bit more, to go the extra mile…

Truly selfless giving pinches. Makes you lose yourself in the process. You decrease and you let the other increase. It is something that we grow into.

It demands that you step down from the pedestal. (Who put you up there, anyways?) Demands that you not have just knowledge about the other's need and situation but to know it as your own. Demands that you stop looking at the other person and their situation, but look along with the person at the situation, at the world around. It demands that you journey with the other - walk in their shoes. Demands that you not only give, but receive - in all humility for you are poor too. It demands that you know your own inner poverty.

And when you give selflessly you do not take away the dignity of the receiver…

p.s. - The first part to this post can be found here.

பொங்கல் வாழ்த்துக்கள்!

தமிழ் அன்பர்களுக்கு என் மனம் கனிந்த பொங்கல் நல் வாழ்த்துக்கள்!!

Happy Pongal, everybody!

Pongal being the harvest festival, it is a good time to think back on the past and be greatful for who we are and what we have.

I thank God
- for my family who love me no matter what
- for my friend who knows me through and through and still dares to love me
- for my friends who support me, encourage me, listen to me (even when they have no idea what i am talking about), understand me (even the vague, abstract stuff i love to discuss), and most of all correct me
- for my blog which has been a wonderful tool as it has encouraged me and given me a platform to compose and express my thoughts. And it has introduced me to some wonderful people.
- for my work which not only gives me a sense of purpose, but also helps me fulfill who i am and continues to stretch me and grow me
- for the gift of hope. The best is yet to come, they say...
- for God Himself, who gave of Himself willingly and generously and loves me no end...

p.s. - This post comes early as i am going to my hometown to celebrate Pongal with my family. See you all after Pongal.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Christmas is but a reminder of the extent God is willing to go so that He can restore us unto Himself!!

"If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us?" (Romans 8: 32, The Message)

Have a blessed Christmas, everybody!!!

Wisdom and the lack of it...

If there is one thing that really stood out for me when I read the book ஆகாச வீடுகள் (A Home in the Sky) it was the insight into wisdom or the lack of it…

When someone does something hurtful or selfish or any of that, lack of wisdom is the reason. This person could be you or I. I have been trying to put this into practice in my life, especially on the roads. When someone one cuts across, they are lacking in wisdom. When I say to myself, "Hmph, that person is unwise," I leave the path of wisdom.

I was thinking about wisdom and trying to make it more understandable to me. I have read and know that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. And the fruit of wisdom, I suppose, is revealed in the way I treat another. Which is why when I cut across or when I cause hurt or when I am selfish or when I ridicule another I am acting out my lack of wisdom. And when I love and bless another in my thoughts and actions, it flows out of wisdom.

Battlefield

"Evil encroaches in tiny footsteps on every great idea. And evil can outrun most great ideas, but finally, in the end, there is light in the world."

"The jungle is never far from the surface of our skin. No, I'm never surprised by evil, but I'm much more excited about what people are capable of."

"Well, as you get older, your idea of good guys and bad guys changes. As we moved from the eighties to the nineties, I stopped throwing rocks at the obvious symbols of power and the abuse of it. I started throwing rocks at my own hypocrisy."

Taken from 'Bono on Bono'

The picture that we often have of the poor is 'victims'. They are victims, no doubt. They are victims of the injustice in the society, the systems that have been worked out to keep them in their place, and of the rich and powerful using these systems to oppress them.

The nagging question in my head was what if the tables were turned? If the poor were made rich and powerful? My guess is that the same struggle will continue - between the powerful and the oppressed. Only the players will be different. What I am trying to say here is that the rich aren't all evil and the poor aren't all good. This is not a comic book where the evil persons are at war with the good persons.

When this one person with the good and the evil residing in him/her has the power, they have the choice to wield the power however they choose. And it seems like there is more evil than good. The choices are more selfish. In his post on morality, JollyRoger has explored 'collateral damage'. Oftentimes, those doing the damage don't look back to see the trail of disaster they leave behind - simply because of their selfish ways.

We work to put systems in place for either of the two purposes - to keep the evil from invading and imprisoning the 'victims' or to retain the power. Again, there are two sides to this. When the systems are established with great ideals of goodness and justice, they can still be infiltrated by evil. The converse is also true. When systems are put in place to retain power and to continue the oppression, the goodness of human nature does shine through.

In the end, the hero and the villain is the same person and the real battlefield is the heart.

Note: Some of what I read in Bono on Bono prodded me along this line of thought. It gave more form and structure to proceed with this thought-wrestling process. A chat with Jude and today's message at church helped me give structure and form to it. Thanks to Roger too. I was surprised to see that he had wrestled with similar thoughts and his thoughts on this subject further provided fodder for my post.

Giving - Today's thought #8

It is more blessed to give than to receive...

The above statement is soaked, laden and oozing with the blessing that was felt.

இளைப்பாறுதல் (Rest)

நான் தேடிய இளைப்பாறுதல்

மகிழ்ச்சியான நாட்களில் அடையவில்லை

மலைகளின் மத்தியிலும் கிட்டவில்லை

பூவின் சிரிப்பில் காணவில்லை

பட்சியின் பாடலில் கேட்கவில்லை

அமைதியான குளக்கரையில் அமைதி இல்லை

அலைமோதும் நீலக் கடற்கரையிலும் இல்லை

காற்றிலும் இல்லை

மண் வாசனையிலும் இல்லை

என் அன்பரின் சந்நிதானத்தில் தஞ்சம் புகுந்தேன்

நான் தேடியதை அங்கே கண்டேன்

For the benefit of my non-Tamil blogging friends, I have the translation below.

The rest I sought

I did not find it in happy days

Nor in the mountains

Not in the laughter of flowers

Nor in the song of birds

Not by the quite pond

Nor by the wavy seashore

Neither in wind

Nor in the smell of rain

I sought refuge in my Beloved's sanctuary

There I found what I was seeking after

I thought I will start writing in Tamil as well. I guess Choconet's multilingual blog has been my inspiration. Those of you that do know Tamil, please let me know if i have made any spelling errors. Thank you.

Just as i am

"Why do you beat yourself up so bad?"

It is because, Lord, I am not all that you want me to be…

"I love you just the way you are."

Uh? You sure? But I keep doing all the wrong things. I never seem to get it right. And… I judge people…

"You also do all the right things. Besides, you have forgiveness as I have died for all the wrong things that you do. And I am working on you still…"

Hmmm. True. I shouldn't make Your sacrifice small. I shouldn't be limiting You.

Tell me Lord, how do I love people?

"Just remember that I love them just the way they are."

With their quirks and all (??)

"With their quirks and all…"

Just as You love me with my quirks and all…

Hm. Makes sense. I pray Lord, help me...